We started the year making jokes about flying cars and having perfect eyesight. We ended the year cursing it.

I started mine with confusion, eagerness, and a dash of hope. As did I, every year.

The coronavirus dominated the first quarter, making headlines daily -- who am I kidding -- it went on to make the rest of the year's.

At this point, I was still part of a start-up's top management and we were already going through a critical phase as it is. Random initiatives, ad-hoc projects, crunch, and uncertainty were just a daily matter in regards to attempts to keep the sinking ship afloat. It was like scooping water out of the ship with a bucket while the hull had a gaping hole. The ship was sinking fast, and fast is just putting it lightly.

This happened, that happened, yadda yadda... Long story short, I decided to bail.

Doing so as one of the captains of the ship doubtlessly caused rift and turbulence. The crew got together and hatched a plan. The same crew botched it. Of course, had the captain not make a decision to jump, it wouldn't have sent the crew into a murkier state of chaos that it was in. Hindsight truly is 2020. Details of that whole event is still a post for another day, as the company still exists without me and is still fighting an uphill battle. I wish them the best, and a speedy recovery after the pandemic hopefully dies down. An awful aftertaste still lingers from the whole debacle and I personally am on a slow path seeking closure.

Amidst the first half-year struggle with the trials and tribulations of the company, I was raising a newborn with my wife and my in-laws under extended confinement. It was -- as it was for many new parents -- a blessing in disguise. Of course, we had help. The first year of a child's is a year full of growth and firsts that parents should not want to miss. The sporadic naps, feeding schedule, first smile, first laugh, and many other firsts of a new soul. Those were hard to miss as we spent most moments together, in the same space.

The second half of the year brought upon an abrupt and almost jarring calm. I was not used to it. I cannot stay I have fully accustomed to it. It is more welcome than not, though. I realised how much headspace negativity takes up and what a blessing it is now that there's so much space for activity. I've been writing more, exploring more creative outlets, thinking more, reading more... You get it.

I really don't know where I'm going with this post. The whole narrative is all over the place. Style is off.

2020 was a year. A shitty one. A great one. It was a year, nonetheless.

The fuck? I should write posts in one sitting again. Lost mojo is mojo lost.

Looking back is so last year, the next post should be about my 2021 goals. Looking forward is all the rage right now. #newyearnewme #newyearsresolution

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Janson Chah
I write about personal stories, tech stuff, leadership, and life in general. Expect pointless ramblings, random thoughts. Minimum 1 post per week. (Edit: LIAR) Quality not guaranteed.